Thursday, February 19, 2009

I Just Don't Fit In

Somewhere between 23 and 30, most lefty, urban, middle-class white people have to decide whether they are going to be: 1) aging bourgeois hippies or 2) aging bourgeois yuppies. (There may be a third option - tell me.) Yesterday I decided to sample option (1) by buying Tom's of Maine deodorant. It smelled nice. The label said it had "hops" in it to fight smelly bacteria.

I put it on this morning. Usually I like the nice, not-at-all sticky feeling that I feel when I put reg'lar deodorant on. It's as though fairies have sprinkled little flakes of teflon on my armpits. This experience, unfortunately, was nothing like that. It was almost as though I hadn't put anything on at all. Or rather, like I had coated my armpits with a layer of gym sweat before going to work.

Just now I changed and took a whiff. I know it's 9:30 pm, so way past the expiration probably, but damn. Not nice.

Next time I see anything with "hops" in it, it better be a nice cold beer. Then I can rub that all over my armpits.

And seriously, someone please, please tell me if there's an option three. One and two are not working out so hot.

5 comments:

wobblie said...

Option #3 is not wearing deodorant.

E. said...

Excellent! Done and done.

Jay Livingston said...

Deodorant sociology must be in the air. The Times a couple of days ago had a story on how in the current recession sales of high-priced deodorants are up. (Technically, they're not deodorants but anti-perspirants -- pore-blockers.)

Pitse1eh said...

3. Never ending career as a student?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IaNaQHjIRE

Susan said...

This cracked me up: It's as though fairies have sprinkled little flakes of teflon on my armpits.

Also, how about aging bourgeois rap superstar?

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