Thursday, February 19, 2009

I Just Don't Fit In

Somewhere between 23 and 30, most lefty, urban, middle-class white people have to decide whether they are going to be: 1) aging bourgeois hippies or 2) aging bourgeois yuppies. (There may be a third option - tell me.) Yesterday I decided to sample option (1) by buying Tom's of Maine deodorant. It smelled nice. The label said it had "hops" in it to fight smelly bacteria.

I put it on this morning. Usually I like the nice, not-at-all sticky feeling that I feel when I put reg'lar deodorant on. It's as though fairies have sprinkled little flakes of teflon on my armpits. This experience, unfortunately, was nothing like that. It was almost as though I hadn't put anything on at all. Or rather, like I had coated my armpits with a layer of gym sweat before going to work.

Just now I changed and took a whiff. I know it's 9:30 pm, so way past the expiration probably, but damn. Not nice.

Next time I see anything with "hops" in it, it better be a nice cold beer. Then I can rub that all over my armpits.

And seriously, someone please, please tell me if there's an option three. One and two are not working out so hot.


wobblie said...

Option #3 is not wearing deodorant.

E. said...

Excellent! Done and done.

Jay Livingston said...

Deodorant sociology must be in the air. The Times a couple of days ago had a story on how in the current recession sales of high-priced deodorants are up. (Technically, they're not deodorants but anti-perspirants -- pore-blockers.)

Pitse1eh said...

3. Never ending career as a student?

Susan said...

This cracked me up: It's as though fairies have sprinkled little flakes of teflon on my armpits.

Also, how about aging bourgeois rap superstar?

Post a Comment